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Reports of chaos, yelling and general discontent at Antares
Loss of constructor lead increases stress levels at Antares HQ
Nancy NewsMaker of the Association of Non-Associated Press International:
Amid the disastrous calamity by Antares driver Doug "Bull in a China Shop" Baggett that caused team lead driver Celso to lose the Suzuka Grand Prix and the lead in the constructor championship, rumors are flying around the GMWC about gunfire, grenades going off and chairs being tossed in the Antares team portable castle after the race.
Mr. Baggett was interviewed after the team meeting. While removing several layers of pie and refried beans from his hair and eyes we managed to ask about developments inside.
Mr. Baggett: "Look we all know this is a Rusyn plot to destroy our team. I was driving down the back stretch and had UNCONTROLABLE flattulance. We had received a late shipment of bean burritos for the team early this morning. Nobody else ate them but me before the race. I've personally sent them out for analysis but I'm sure that Rusyn skulduggery is involved. What else could it be?"