Rusyn Announces New 2009C Sponsor

Il Corse Gazzetta

Ottobre 22, 2009

*Undisclosed location deep in the Caucasus Mountainy Region.* Recently, here on these pages, we reported on a future announcement by Rusyn that they had acquired a new sponsor. As the official propaganda and information control arm of Rusyn, we had extensive access to internal corporate documents, negotiations, as well as an opportunity to talk with the key players involved in the acquisition; namely team principal, founder, and alpha primate, AJ "orangutan" Weber. "After a year of establishing the team, negotiating the numbers, and a requirement to keep our grease monkeys from flinging their poo and in their cages, it became clear the relationship was going to be a fruitful one", claimed Weber.

"It is with great pride and honor that we anounce the prime sponsor for Rusyn Performance Dynamics as, Chicos Bail Bonds", said Weber. Chicos Bail Bonds is most recently famous for providing bonds for the miscreants responsible for the destruction at Scuderia DeLoyer several seasons back. When asked if this would revive bad feelings between the teams, AJ shrugged it off. "We received a 'Gold Zeplin' from the Scuderia once. Unfortunately, it was revealed as not so much gold, but more like some cheap trinket you get from Tijuana, Mexico. Now I'm no metallurgical expert, but when you pick up a gold item, it's not supposed to turn your skin green. So no, our relationship is just where we want it to be."

A Chicos Bail Bonds spokesperson didn't have much to say about the relationship except that they were hoping this group of ragtag Rusyn racers would prove a better investment than "the last group of slackers they sponsored." AJ Weber is confident they can produce a season that will allow them to hold the long coveted team championship trophy between their opposable digits. Will it be this season or next? "I have a high degree of confidence that we can bring it home in the 2009C season. Antares is good, but if I can get that pasta eating Italian Tom Giangreco away from the table for five minutes to show up for a race and Scott Farm continues to show good form, we can do it. Otherwise, I may need a good attorney and a bail bond company."

Time will tell. AJ had one last thing to say before we concluded our interview. "I love Rusyn, I love racing and Let Freedom Ring, baby!!"